Acceptance
by damonlover17
Summary: They say you cannot choose your fate... Especially if you are a queen. But even if you could, would you have chosen otherwise?


I do not remember my time in Scotland as well as I wish. The reason why that burdens my heart is that France, which I have lived in ever since I was six, will never be a true home to me… In a way I have lived most of my life as a guest, and not always a welcomed one.

Despite the circumstances that have brought me to this shores long before I learned the implications of my journey, I am fortunate to have lived here. For it is a beautiful country. And this belief is reaffirmed as I leave behind the seemingly never ending green fields and my horse strides in the small village that rises about a mile from the Castle. I am alone, without guards, relaying only on my anonymity to stay safe. This mission I am on has little to do with my duty and much to do with my dignity as a person...

One of the first lessons I learned from my mother is that a queen is above three actions by birth right; she never kneels, never asks for permission, and never ever apologizes… I was about to prove one of these wrong.

I descended from my horse and looked for someone who could give me directions to the blacksmith's workshop. I knew to search for that on instinct. A young girl appeared on my way that seemed as a good subject to approach. I didn't want to arouse suspicions by drawing the attention of an older villager. My clothes were simple but my unblemished skin, soft hands and well kept hair indicated an upbringing different from the one that might happen in a simple place like this. The girl seemed clear-eyed and with an open smile, but I kept my hood on regardless.

As soon as I made my inquiry her smile widened and she informed me that we would be making the journey together for that was her destination as well. I was calmed that I saw no speculation or great curiosity in her eyes. She just kept going with a friendly chatter about the weather, villagers and the harvesting that had already begun. I listened with little attention until she mentioned the reason she was visiting the blacksmith's.

" He came here about two months ago. Came to stay in my family's inn and started working for the old blacksmith about two days later. No one knows much about him, and he doesn't talk much about his past. I think it brings him pain. But after a while we stopped trying to pry. He is quiet, hardworking and so well mannered, I am sure he must be a noble's illegitimate child. And his looks… He is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen."

At that she blushed and that river of words stopped, leaving me a moment to collect my emotions. But after a heartbeat she picked up again.

"Everyone holds him in high regard now. My father thinks he would be a suitable match for me."

Another blush that wasn't followed by a long pause.

"I come to see him often when he works. He is so sweet and gentle, though I know he does not feel for me what I do for him. But with time I hope he returns my affections… "

As she was lost in her daydreams a war raged within me. Such a furious blend of jealousy, grief, fear, hurt and longing that made my breath catch and paralyzing me for a moment. The girl stopped too and turned to me with a concerned expression.

"Are you unwell? We are almost there. "

For the first time I looked at my guide as a girl. With great resentment I realized she was pretty . She had strawberry blond hair and large grey eyes. The freckles scattered around her nose were not unattractive and her easy smile was very endearing. This girl was not just pretty, I thought. She was kind too. Sweet and unassuming, pouring out her heart to a stranger as if we were old friends. For an agonizing moment I saw the world through her eyes. I saw that the handsome boy she dreamed of, with time would return her feelings. They would be promised to each other and later marry. Create a home together and have children. The gentle boy would give her his heart, for he was just a boy, just hers…

The vision crystallized and shattered and after a deep breath I straightened and returned her smile. She seemed relieved and we resumed walking. As soon as we entered the workshop my eyes wandered until I saw him. His golden head was bend over a sword and he was inspecting it with great focus, those sky colored eyes concentrated on his work. He seemed different. The lanky boyish build had changed into something slightly sturdier and his posture was relaxed, like he didn't care if hunched in shoulders were considered ungraceful. I could have stood there taking in the sight of him forever, but he broke the silence without turning around.

"I keep thinking this will be the day you will be too bored to sit by me and watch me work."

The girl smiled radiantly.

"Clearly today is not that day. I even brought a guest. I'm sorry I didn't even ask for your name."

"Mary."

At that Francis froze. I didn't now what he was thinking as his face was hidden. When he turned, resolve was on his face as we held the other's gaze. Then he dragged his eyes to the girl.

"Greta, old man Gaspar wanted an armor for his son but he fell sick and can't come to get it himself. Would you mind taking it to him? You know he loves seeing you."

"But of course! "

As the exchange was made I didn't take my eyes off him. He didn't glance my way again, even when Greta left and we were alone.

"It is a bad habit this you have acquired, leaving the castle alone and defenseless."

"No one knows I left. And I am disguised as you can see."

"That makes you safe from English assassins but not from the common thieves that ride through the woods. It's dangerous and it's reckless and one might expect more caution from the sovereign of a large country."

His words were cold and formal. The clipped tone tore through me like razors. He had yet to meet my eyes.

" I needed to come here before the guards got to you first."

I expected surprise from him but he merely smiled.

"So the pope has spoken with my father. I suppose he realized how ridiculous a claim to England would be, with a bastard son on the throne of France."

"He was trying to annul the marriage to Catherine."

"The Vatican would not give my father what they denied Henry Tudor all those years ago. And the Medici's are too powerful to let one of their own defenseless against absurd accusations. They wield too much power."

As he spoke I realized something. He knew the outcome of our efforts before he left Court. He calculated that one day he would be back as the dauphin of France. I continued my trail of thought verbally.

" But then why? Why leave if you knew all this would be for nothing?"

He still didn't meet my eyes but had resumed polishing the metal.

"Do you remember our conversation the first day you returned to court?"

Confusion bubbled up in me as I recalled words spoken what seemed like a lifetime ago. But then I understood. The boy in front of me was born with the same heavy weight on his shoulders as I was. He had had the world at his feet. Power, wealth, authority before he even knew their true meaning. But he always craved one thing. Freedom. He envied his half-brother the lack of responsibility, destiny, the complete control he had over his life.

And I had given him the chance to taste it. Bash was brave and loyal but he would always lack the shrewdness that made Francis a brilliant politician. I had forgotten how much I relied on his objective reasoning. Feelings aside Francis would be a perfect partner through the turbulent times that awaited me as a ruler. If he survived that long…

And suddenly I thought of our relationship. The one I had avoided thinking of since the moment I gave my proposal to Henry. It was egotistical of me but I wondered how after all we'd been through, he chose to leave me behind so easily. I was the one who had pushed him away, true, but his resolve shifted surprisingly quickly. I had come to the conclusion that he saw the inevitable change and left to make things easier, but now nothing made sense… My thoughts had overtaken me so much that I didn't notice him standing very close to me suddenly.

" The moment I return to court, it will be as if nothing has changed. I will be your fiancé and soon with the pressure from my father and your mother we shall be wed."

"And soon after you will die" I said and even I could hear the tears and horror that laced my words. Now I was the one that would not meet his eyes.

"Perhaps I will. But Mary, if there is one thing we have learned from the moment we were born is that you cannot fight your destiny."

"I cannot surrender to a destiny that leads you to the grave so soon."

"Then surrender to a destiny that brings us together and fills my remaining days with wonder and with love"

Tears were running freely from my eyes now and my entire body shook. While he was away I tried to convince myself that my love would fade with time, that the only reason why I loved him as I did was because I had believed all my life that he was meant for me. But now I understood. It was destiny, but one that lay beyond the fates of countries and bound us together the moment I laid eyes on him as a little girl and knew that he was special. That he was mine.

"Why did you live then?"

"I was angry. With Bash. With you. With myself. I needed time to think clearly and I don't regret the peace of the last two months. I never expected you to come find me. But then again, who can predict what you will do next?"

I looked up to see him staring at me with such love, my heart broke.

" Are you angry still?"

He stared at me for a moment than moved so fast, the next thing I knew I was in his arms and his lips had taken possession of mine. My entire body responded a hum going through me. The kiss bursted the dam of memories that I had kept locked away. Like the fact that those lips had been all over my body, that those arms held me when I felt like floating away in ecstasy and that the scent that overwhelmed me was what I relished in when I woke up with my head in his chest. No one, not even Bash could make me feel that way. My love was my curse, and my love was my only taste of heaven…

I returned his kiss hungrily wishing we were in his rooms in the castle, when at midnight I would sneak in to be with him through the night and spend the day In blissful exhaustion .

As soon aswe broke apart to breathe, the cold that swept over me,nreminded me of the future that lay ahead of me now.

" Nostradamus only saw your death, but if I live with you as your wife, be with you without barriers, the moment you leave from this world you will leave behind an empty shell of a woman."

"No I won't. When I die, I will leave behind my wife, the queen of Scotland,who will mourn me and then move on. Who history will remember as a strong ruler and a force that brought her people much relief and hope. I love you Mary. I love you and as long as I breathe you will never want for love, companionship, or support. But you are strong my Mary. You will stay strong long after I am gone. It is who you are. See yourself through my eyes and you will never doubt yourself again."

He kissed me again but a gasp interrupted us. Greta had returned. The hurt look in her eyes made me slightly guilty, but I suppose there was nothing I could do about that. Francis spoke.

"You asked me once who I left my heart with when I came here. Well, you're looking at her."

Greta smiled sadly and looked at us with resigned approval. I wanted to provide some sort of explanation.

"You should know…" I began but she silenced me by shaking her head.

"There isn't anything more I need to know. You're just a boy and a girl in love."

I laughed at that and Francis joined me, confusing Greta once again.


End file.
